My Unspoken battle with Depression


By Kaki Mwihaki

Everyone has a chapter they don’t read out loud! A couple of years ago, I sunk into depression and battled my lowest moments ever! I came face to face with rock bottom and it was my dwelling place. I had nothing to look forward to and being alive was nothing but pain.. I prayed that He may take my life but morning after morning He kept me. He surprised me over and over with His mercies and love. He sent unexpected, unseen, unheard of provisions that I couldn’t imagine and never saw coming. It did not happen overnight, it wasn’t in one big package neither was it in floodgates.

He gave me what seemed to be small doses of His intense presence and grace just to remind me who is in control and to show me step by step how ABLE He is. These provisions were not in monetary terms but more of the spiritual connections He brought into my life, social connections he birthed along the way, business favours, emotional encounters that made me more aware of the LOVE that is God, the privilege & gift that is L.I.F.E.

Today, I stand in awe, continually receiving His restoration, healing for my brokenness and I am assured now more than ever, that even when I give up on myself; God never gives up on me; even when I’ve lost hope and lack support, He asks me to be still and know that He is God. Stillness precedes revelation! I had to be still..cast my worries to Him and only then did I come to KNOW the one who SPEAKS and storms obey!


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