By Eric Ochanji
Epainitous Moses Akaranga. What a name!
The Pharaonic Vihiga County Governor has the largest seat of all elected leaders in the Republic of Kenya, including the President. Built to suit the Pastor Governor’s Brobdingnagian ego. He forgot his pious calling to dedicate his life to being King of the Maragoli. His seat is taller than thousands of his average subjects.
Had devolution allowed Governor’s to be Commanders in Chief of their various counties, Epainitous Akaranga would have been the first Governor to declare war on another county. In the early days of his reign, he declared war on the County of Kisumu over the Maseno border dispute but looked around him and couldn’t find any armed soul to send to enforce his order.
I thank the Kenyan people and the drafters of our constitution for not giving Epainitous the chance to control security. In world history, the greatest violence came from leaders who wielded ecclesiastical and temporal power like Epainitous Akaranga.
But I have digressed.
I wanted to tell you that the Pastor Governor sent his MCAs in a very costly trip to Uganda to learn devolution! In Uganda? There are so many things to learn from the nation of my in laws like what others call food security but which I like calling food sovereignty. Uganda is overflowing with food. But DEVOLUTION? NO! For the 4 days they were there, the huge delegation of MCAS were picking a daily per diem of Kshs. 50,000.
The king with a strange moniker saw nothing wrong with his entire government sitting in a hugely centralized government to learn devolution.
Long live devolution.
Epainitous Moses Akaranga.